Four Reasons Why I Will Never Be Fluent in Italian

One of the things that has always bummed me out about having grown up in the US is that I had virtually no exposure to foreign language at an early age.  There was no foreign language instruction until high school (too late of an age in my opinion- and in the opinions of many scientists), no one in my family spoke any other languages, and (while perhaps this is changing a bit nowadays), you never had any exposure to foreign languages in Minnesota the 80s and 90s.  I always thought it would be cool to grow up in Europe instead, where you'd be surrounded by many more different cultures and languages.  I mean, imagine, for example, if any time you headed from Minnesota over the border to Wisconsin you'd hear and see a different language. Sure, you might not learn all of it, but I bet at the very least you'd learn how to read streets signs, how to order at a restaurant, and would probably even pick up a few choice words with which to insult Packers fans.  This is what I imagine it's like for many Europeans living close to country borders, and it's perhaps one reason why 53% of Europeans report knowing a foreign language, while only 18% of Americans do.  

Of course, that's not to say that it's impossible to learn a foreign language later in life.  In fact, I know many people who have done so extremely successfully. However, it often takes much more effort and dedication, and almost everyone I know who has truly become fluent in a foreign language has spent significant time in a foreign country.

That's why I was hopeful that having a year in Italy would be just the trick for me to finally develop at least conversational fluency in a foreign language.  Not only would I be taking an Italian class and have an abundance of time to study, but I'd be living in the country, seeing, hearing, and speaking the language on a daily basis.  Or, at least, that's what I thought. Don't get me wrong, I've still learned a lot of Italian in a very short time (my Italian is probably as good as my (now-forgotten) Spanish was after four years of classes in high school, for whatever that's worth), but I'm still so far from being anywhere near fluent.  If I can manage to convey an idea to an Italian speaker, chances are I  still won't fully understand their response.  This might be because they are speaking too fast, because they using complex verb forms I haven't mastered, and/or just because they happened to use one of the four other words for "folder" or "dresser" that I haven't learned yet.

However, I think my difficulty in mastering Italian runs even deeper that.  Here are a few (four to be specific) reasons why I'm not yet fluent in Italian (and why I likely never will be):

1.   Everyone (and Their Fratello) Speaks English

My first clue that it would be a challenge to learn the language probably should have been that we are living at the American Academy in Rome.  The vast majority of the people living here are native English speakers (and most of those who aren't know English), so virtually every conversation I have been involved in here is conducted in English.

Of course, we do leave the Academy from time to time, but even then our interactions in Italian are fairly limited, and usually consist of ordering food, or asking basic questions.  Oftentimes, the person we are interacting with will speak much better English than we do Italian and so will just switch to English after detecting our accent.  I'm sure they think that they are doing us a favor, but I'd actually much prefer to keep trying in Italian (even if it's a bit annoying for them!).  We have certainly met some people that are extremely sweet and patient with us (especially when we have traveled in other parts of the country), but I have also met others (mostly women, actually), who just glare and/or act like I'm the dumbest person they've ever met when I attempt to use my Italian.  Still, since more people tend to speak English in the big cities than in smaller communities, I have probably done more for my vocabulary and speaking skills by traveling here than by doing anything else.

Unfortunately, though, traveling sometimes leads to a second problem:

2.  Some Italians Can't Even Understand Each Other

Map of Italian Dialects

Due to its historical and political background, Italy has a lot of dialects.  And while some have only minor differences (like the differences in speech patterns between a Midwesterner and a Bostonian, for example), some are much more pronounced.  Some dialects might use completely different sounds or even different words to convey the same meaning.  In fact, the language spoken in the South of Italy is so distinct from that in Northern Italy that movies from the South are often subtitled so that all Italians can understand them!

If you take an Italian class or study a textbook, what you'll learn is "standard" Italian.  This Italian is based on the Italian spoken in and around Florence, and it's also the dialect used in most Italian newspapers, magazines, TV shows, etc.  Nowadays, most Italians (or at least those on the mainland) do know and speak standard Italian in addition to their own local dialect, but many Italians still regularly use their local dialect, too.  This can be tough for visitors who think they know a bit of Italian, since any tiny deviation from what you expect to hear can really throw you through a loop!

Luckily for us, the dialect here in Rome, Romanesco, isn't too far off from standard Italian.  It is, however, thought to be a bit "rougher" sounding, and has a few phonetic differences from standard Italian (as well as slightly different uses of articles).  Because of this, it still can significantly change the sound of a sentence, like in this example I found online:  

English:  Guys, let's go to the bar and drink a beer!
Standard Italian:  Andiamo ragazzi al bar da bere un una birra!
Romanesco:  Nnamo regazzi al bare da trinca 'na bira!  

Of course, at this point a lot of Italian still just sounds like this to me, so I'm not really in a position to greatly expound on the nuances of our local dialect!  Still, I know enough to know that it makes things difficult.  

3.   Italians Say a Lot Without Even Speaking

Not only do Italians tend to get really vocally animated when they talk (I almost always think that people are upset even when they're just discussing something as mundane as the weather), but they communicate a whole lot with their hands, too.  

Examples of Some Italian Hand Gestures

To be clear Italians don't "talk with their hands" the way that some Americans do by being very lively and moving their arms sporadically about as they tell a story.  Instead, here in Italy, there are actually dozens of well-known hand gestures that have very specific meanings (just like nodding or shaking your head would clearly conveys "yes" or "no" in many places).  The gestures might mean anything from "please" to "I'm bored," to much more insulting/offensive things, and may or may not be accompanied by verbal communication.

At this point, I barely know what any of the gestures mean and when I'm communicating with Italians, I basically try to avoid moving my hands much at all.  If I did, I'm sure that I would either 1) accidentally "say" something completely inappropriate and get myself involved in a fight, 2) embarrass myself as the "Americana" attempting to use Italian hand gestures, and/or 3) just look like a raving lunatic.

I will admit that a few times I have subconsciously made the gesture in figure (6) in the picture to the left (which involves a making quick back and forth motion, toward and away from your body, while in this position), but I always use it the wrong context.  When used properly, this gesture indicates disagreement with something that someone is saying.  For example, you might start making this motion when someone says "the Packers are the greatest football team of all time!'  However,  I always instead end up doing it when I'm just really impassioned about something.  I suppose sometimes those two concepts might overlap, but I probably need to make an effort to not make this gesture when I'm saying something like "I'd love some gelato right now!"

In any case, the bottom line is that even if you master the language of Italian, you'll never be mistaken for a local unless you can master the hand gestures, too.  And, frankly, I don't expect that to happen for me anytime soon!

4.  Idioms Are Always Ridiculous to the Foreign Speaker

Hilarious Comic in which Pinocchio and Little Red
Riding Hood Wish Each Other Good Luck
(Think about it after reading the translations to the left!)

I imagine an issue with learning any foreign language is that some things just don't translate well, and languages are full of idioms and slang that you'll never learn from a textbook.  Oftentimes, then, when we hear something that doesn't quite make sense, we're not sure if we heard wrong, or if we just don't know the phrase.  Since we don't hang out with a lot of native Italians, we don't have the opportunity to learn too many idioms or slang, but every once in a while we will come across a fun one.  Tom learned the following in class:  

You know how some English-speakers use the phrase "break a leg!" to mean "good luck"?  Well, the Italians have some figures of speech to express this concept, too.  Most commonly, they  say "in bocca al lupo," which means "in the mouth of the wolf."  Generally, one responds with "Crepi!" meaning "may it die." (I know, poor wolf, but I think it actually makes a lot more sense than "break a leg" does!)  However, if the wolf's mouth isn't exciting enough for you, there's also a more vulgur version, "in culo alla balena," which seriously means "into the whale's ass."  Hilariously, though, the response to this one isn't "Crepi," but instead "speriamo che non caghi," or "let's hope it doesn't shit."  And, really, who can argue with that?

So, as you may have gathered, I still have a long way to go in reaching my goal of being able to converse fairly effortlessly in Italian.  Still, as they say, sometimes the journey is better than the destination, and so if you'll excuse me, it's time to review some indirect object pronouns.  

Alla Prossima,
Erin

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Tues. Jan. 22:  In the last two days we've seen our first bits of sun in weeks.  It's almost like we've been living in Seattle, with lots of gloom and rain and mist and highs around 50 every day.  I keep hoping we'll get a dusting of snow (since it's gotten down close to freezing at night), but we've had no such luck yet!